What does Friday the 13^th make you think of?  Playing Ghost in the Graveyard? Or probably a slasher movie where the lead character is some creepy guy who goes around wearing a hockey mask, right?  Yeah, me too.  Usually.

But this year, Friday the 13^th made me more introspective.  I had so many reminders that day about how precious life is.  And not because I was being chased by a guy in a hockey mask.  At least, I don’t think I was.

Anyway, here’s the deal.  On Friday after I left work, the weather was amazing.  I had already declared that I was going to Forest Park to run until my heart was content.  I needed to get in a long run since my attempt at 19 miles last Monday failed miserably.  I was dehydrated, slept too late and it was like 90 degrees when I started.  I finally gave up after 10.5 miles knowing that to continue for 8.5 more would just be stupid and irresponsible considering the conditions.

As I cruised along, going east on 40, with the windows down, I was listening to one of my new favorite songs.  Sara Bareilles’ voice filled my car with the words…  You said, remember that life is not meant to be wasted. We can always be chasing the sun. So fill up your lungs and just RUN. But always be chasing the sun!

Yep, that’s exactly what I was planning to do.

I parked my Pathfinder by Grand Basin, knowing that I had a little more than 2 hours to run before my friend Shane showed up to join me.  I figured I could get in about 15 miles.  More than anything, I was going to be racing the sun because it’s getting dark so much earlier now and running alone in Forest Park in the dark didn’t seem like the best idea.  I filled my water bottle, grabbed my Gu, located the satellites on the my Garmin 310, hit play on my purple ipod and set off toward the park perimeter.

I looked up at Art Hill, heavily spotted with people on blankets, enjoying the day.  The park was packed with people running, on bikes, on rollerblades, playing with their dogs.  As I ran, despite the fact that I was listening to the likes of Fort Minor and Kanye, various lyrics from my pre-run song kept coming to mind.

All we can do is try and live like we’re still alive…

My thoughts drifted to a customer I had helped at work earlier in the day.  She wanted to start running again.  She’s training to complete a half-marathon on Valentine’s Day with several friends.  With tears in her eyes, Shannon showed me the scars on her foot, her knee, her arm.  Then she showed me the picture of her car after the accident last November.  It’s hard to believe she’s still alive. Running this half is going to be a celebration of her comeback, but she deemed she couldn’t be ready by November of this year, so she pushed it back to Valentine’s Day.  As we talked, that seemed even more appropriate because she not only has visible physical scars, she has scars on her heart too from everything life has thrown at her in the past few years.  We all have scars.  But all of our scars look different.  And our scars help us tell our stories.  It doesn’t matter when Shannon runs her race, the point is she isn’t wasting the fact that she has been given a second chance.  But sadly, not everyone gets a second chance like that.

I couldn’t help but think about someone very close to me who is dealing with a pain that is all too familiar.  Wes lost his mom in July.  While most of America was shooting off fireworks and celebrating with family, Wes was sharing time with family in a totally different way as he said goodbye to the woman who raised him and loved him all of his life.  The most important person in his world was suddenly gone and he is now left to deal with the after effects of trying to fill that void in his heart.  The initial impact of grief is so different from the months down the road when you are still grieving, but the rest of the world seems to have just moved on.  I know this all too well.  It’s been almost 12 years since I last saw my dad, and I still pick up the phone to call him on occasion.  Then the flood of sadness washes over me all over again.  And I wish I could take that sadness away from my friend.

But something I adore about Wes is that just like my dad showed me, his mom taught him how to live each day as if it’s something special.  It’s impossible to replace people like that.  All we can do is continue living in a way that is a tribute to them.

There’s a history through her, sent to us as a gift from the future, and to show us the proof, more than that it’s to dare us to move, and to open our eyes and to learn from the sky…

After two loops around the park, I headed back to my car to check on Shane’s location.  As the moon was rising high in the sky, it was past twilight and the stars were coming out, I was glad to learn he was on his way and would meet me at 8pm. I still had time for a couple more miles, or so I thought.  I refilled my water bottle, grabbed my headlamp and some Sports Beans before setting off again.  But I didn’t get very far before I ran smack into him.  I was more than happy to see him early since it was officially dark.  But I had 7.5 miles to go to finish off my 20 miles and I wasn’t sure he was willing to go that far.  Shane agreed to go for one more loop around the park, but he had a stipulation. If he ran the full 7+ with me, I had to go for margaritas afterward.  He didn’t have to twist my arm too hard to get me to agree to that.  I know Shane well enough that I was already planning on it before he brought it up.

At mile 17.5 I announced that I didn’t feel like running anymore.  But Shane didn’t let me quit.  Not that I really would have, but I guarantee I wouldn’t have done as well without him there and I certainly wouldn’t have enjoyed it as much.  We kept on, my little light illuminating the path, my breathing heavy and the sound of my pounding heart echoing in my ears.

And the gift of my heartbeat, sounds like a symphony…

We got back to my car with less than half a mile to go, so we finished by running along the Basin.  We ran to the bridge, turned around, feet crunching the gravel below and finally my Garmin beeped announcing 20 miles as I stopped right in front of an unbeatable view.  Moon reflecting off the water, fountains reaching for the stars above, the Art Museum lit up like a crown on top of the hill.

With our mission accomplished, Shane and I headed to the Central West End for some tacos and margaritas at Gringo’s.  We ate.  He sucked down margaritas at the same rate I sucked down water.  He checked out some girl walking by and I offered to play wingman.  I laughed at him for being a germ-o-phobe  and he teased me about drinking my margarita too slow.  We later determined that my drinks were being made with considerably more tequila than his were.  Apparently, the bartender thought he was doing Shane a favor.  Eventually, Shane made sure I was safely back to my car and we parted ways. It was a perfect end to a perfect day.

The next morning on my way to work, I got a text from Shane that read: How are you running girl?  I feel alive, from the run and recovery beverages last night.

Exactly.  Shane described how that long run made me feel too.  Thinking about the gift I am given in each day that I wake up and get to lace up my shoes for a run.  And spend time with my friends.  And hug my kids.  And help other people appreciate the gift of their own heartbeat.

20 miles is hard.  But it reminds me that I’m alive.  Heart pounding, legs and lungs burning.  Taking in my surroundings like the wildflowers, the sunset, Grand Basin.  Enjoying the company of someone who has the ability to make me laugh even when it hurts so much I don’t think I can go another step.  Celebrating an accomplishment.  All of it.  This is what living looks like.  Sometimes its messy.  Sometimes it hurts.  Sometimes the pain is almost unbearable.  But those are the times when your friends show up and drag your butt through it.

You said, Remember that life is not meant to be wasted…

Each day is precious.  Go live like you mean it.  I dare you.

My running peeps…Wes, Shalini, RRG, Gerry, Shane and Kris.

Here’s the link to the song, if you wanna have a listen:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WFFberbflbU