It’s been said that if you wait until you’re ready to do something, you’ll never do it, because you’ll never actually feel ready. I signed up for Racine 70.3 back in the fall, on a strangley beautiful November night, when I made my friend/training partner/moral support, Steve, hold my hand as I hit submit to register. At that point, I had plenty of time, MONTHS, to get ready for the big day. Now I have a week. One week from right now I will have earned that 70.3 sticker…or not. The future is unknown.
Almost exactly 2 years ago, I started down a path of major unknowns. I assure you I did not feel ready for any of those unknowns. And just about that same time, Farrell proposed the idea of a triathlon. Eh, why not? I was already about to learn a whole lot about myself and what I’m capable of, so why not shift the focus off that for a bit and learn some other new skills? She signed up for an Ironman, the least I could do was sign up for a mini-tri and let her coach me through it. But, because I don’t ever ease into things slowly, I jumped right in with both feet. A sprint? Why would I do that? That ends with a 5k, which I can do backwards, in my sleep. I run marathons for crying out loud! So, I signed up for the Lake St. Louis Olympic distance Triathlon. .9 mile swim, 24 mile bike, 10k. And did I train for it? Umm, well, that’s another story. I can count my swims on one hand, and probably my rides, too. I had a few other things going on that I was trying to tend to, like, um, buying a house for one. So, on race day, it was just about getting through however I could. I swam freestyle, side stroke, doggy paddle, whatever. I desperately wanted to backstroke, but that’s a sign of distress, so I figured they would pull me out of the water. I had a decent bike, nothing great, but I wouldn’t have expected otherwise. And then the run…or the shuffle as the case may be. I remember when I crossed the finish line, I said, “That was, without a doubt, the hardest thing I’ve ever done.” And up until that moment, I believe that was true. Was I ready for it? Not at all. Could I have prepared better? Sure. But that race happened at the tail end of one of the hardest years of my life. I literally found out my divorce was final two days later. Apparently it had been final for a week or two, but the judge hadn’t notified the attorneys that she’d signed the papers yet. I still believe that I needed to get through that tri, and learn what I’m capable of, before I got the closure I was seeking.
You can’t always prepare for what lies ahead. And sometimes, you just do the best you can to prepare, knowing that it will likely be even harder than you expect.
Am I prepared for Racine 70.3? I don’t know, I guess so. Should I have done more? Probably. Could I have done more? No. I don’t think so. I did what I was capable of doing under the circumstances. And next week I will wake up on Sunday morning and give what I am capable of giving. I honestly have no idea what to expect other than…it’s going to hurt, it’s going to hurt a lot. But considering how much I’ve hurt over the past several years, I know I can take it. The hardest part is the mental game. Telling myself to not quit even when it’s really, really, really hard.
I may not have gotten in as many laps in the pool, or miles on the bike, that I needed to in order to feel ready for next weekend, but I did learn how to swim, and I got a real bike, and mentally, I know from experience, that I can overcome any obstacle. It may take time, and there may be setbacks, but I’ll get there. If something goes wrong, I’ll take a deep breath, look at my wrist and do what I need to do to get back on track.
I wear it on my wrist because it reminds me that I can
Persevere. I never take that bracelet off, because it reminds me that I can. And I have.
This morning, I went out to St. Charles for the New Town Tri. I didn’t have nearly as many friends competing today as I did a few weeks ago at Innsbrook, but the ones who were out there today were pretty darn important. After I dropped my kids off this morning at their dad’s house I hauled booty to meet Linds for the run portion, so I could run her in. I made it there in time to catch her for the second loop. I was probably there in time to do the whole run with her, but I’m a bonehead and I was waiting in the wrong spot. Fortunately, I figured it out just in time to jump in with her for the last couple miles. Her breathing was heavy, she was tired. But I pushed her anyway, because she does the same for me. I didn’t say much other than an occasional encouragement. Sometimes, you don’t need much more than knowing that someone is by your side to help pull you along. It was only so appropriate that I did that today for Farrell as she’s done that so much for me ever since I met her a couple short years ago. We’ve been through some major highs and lows together, and she’s never left my side. This morning was the least I could do to return that favor. You wanna talk about kindred spirits? This girl is one for sure.
After I ran Linds in, I hung out with her at the finish for a bit, along with a few of our Ironman Arizona 2014 compadres-Mark, Ron and Martin. I saw a few other familiar faces, and I ran into Teri, too. Man do I love that woman! She is everywhere, and she just glows. As I stood near the finish, which was also where the runners passed by to start their second loop, I saw Kris coming around. I jumped in to run her last lap as well. I tell you what, I think that girl is always smiling. She smiled and said “Thanks” to every person on the course with a sprinkle or a water gun. She said her legs were trashed. I said, “They should be. That’s why I’m here. Just feed off my energy.” And she kept smiling. We ran past her husband, also named Chris, who took our picture. I love that we have a record of that moment. I did whatever I could to help pull Kris along and enjoy the final portion of this tri. As we rounded the corner to the finish, I said, “No puking until AFTER you cross the finish line this time! Go get it, Girl!” And then I met her on the other side of the shoot for a congratulatory hug. Because that’s what friends do.
Running with Kris in New Town
I had to bolt pretty quick after that, because I had to get to the store and get showered before work. I only got in about 4 miles this morning. Really more like 2 x 2 miles. But it was totally worth it to give up my long run for the day to do that with my friends, and like Kris said, this week is a taper anyway. It got me pumped for next weekend and Linds ended up with 2nd in her age group. Since Linds is the one who got me started with all this, and fueled the fire of Racine, and has planted the seed of a full Ironman, it seemed only appropriate to do this with her today, especially since she can’t be there with me next weekend. That was the last piece of the puzzle for “getting ready” for Racine 70.3. Sure I’ve got another ride planned with “Grey” tomorrow, along with other workouts this week. And I’ve still got to gather up all my gear. And finish talking logistics with my travel crew, who will likely make it up to Wisconsin several hours ahead of me on Friday. But the important stuff is done. I’ve done the physical work I can do to be ready, now it’s time to trust that. The mental work has been in all the obstacles that I’ve pushed through to teach myself the true meaning of “Never give up”.
Most importantly, something I said to Kris this morning as I ran with her, was how so many of my friends are going to finish ahead of me next week. It’ll be like Innsbrook, but reversed. Instead of me standing at the finish cheering in my friends, so many of them will be waiting there for me. (Some of them might be showered and ready for dinner by the time I get there, but nonetheless) That’s the piece that makes me the most ready to do this. How long it takes me to complete the 1.2 mile swim, 56 mile bike and 13.1 mile run is totally irrelevant, because doing it at all makes it a PR. But doing it with my friends makes it that much better. That is truly a Personal Best.
I doubt very much if Racine could ever be ready for Rambling Runner Girl, but ready or not, here I come. And I’m as ready as I’m ever gonna be.
Lindsey squared at the LSL Tri